Saying Goodbye

Today I had to do something that I really don't like doing. I had to say goodbye. Of course we told each other that we would see each other again, but life is unpredictable and who knows if we will get to meet up again this side of heaven. You would think that I would have learned how to say goodbye without pain by now, but I haven't and I'm quite convinced that if I ever do, it is a sure sign of unhealthiness. But I have learned somethings through those torturous partings.

Make sure you grieve your loss. Crying like you did when you were a kid and you lost your favorite toy or were hurt feels stupid because as an adult you "should be" braver, stronger, less vulnerable. But I really do think that it helps to cry to God saying, "I've lost an important part of my life and it really stinks and I don't like it."

Even while you are (sometimes forcefully) voicing your frustration and loss, you have to trust that God is good and has good things planned for you so that you will become more like His Son. Even though you don't feel like it, trust. Don't let resentment lead to bitterness (an easy thing to type here, but a moment-by-moment decision of the will).

And my last piece of advise is to continue on with life while still giving yourself room to grieve, cry, get mad, or whatever. By turning your focus away from you and to others around you, you will see that there are others in your life that are here now and you don't want to waste your time with them.

Those are my musings on this rainy evening (like most evenings here in Davao). Good-byes stink, but being free to express my feelings for good friends and hearing their love for me can't be entirely bad.